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我们,已说过,是在饭厅里.为晚饭点起的枝形吊灯,给屋子遍洒了一份节日般的光明.炉火通红透亮,紫色的帷幔悬挂在高高的窗户和更高的拱门上,华富宽大.除了阿黛勒压低的嗓门(她不敢大声讲),一切都宁静无声.填补她停顿空档的,是冬日敲窗的冷雨.
罗切斯特先生坐在他锦缎面子的椅子里,与我以前看见的模样一样.没那么冷峻......更不那么阴沉了.他的唇上挂着一丝笑容,眼睛炯炯有神.是否喝了酒,无法肯定,不过据我看很可能.他,一句话,正处在晚餐后的兴头上,显得更和蔼,更可亲,同时也更放纵自己.不似上午那般冷漠呆板,不过依然十分严厉.大脑袋枕在隆起的椅子后背上,任火花照亮他那花岗石刻般的面孔,照进他那乌黑的大眼睛.他有一双又大又黑的眼睛,而且可以说很漂亮......有时那眸子深处也会有某些变化,那如果不是柔情的话,至少也让人联想到这种感情.
他看着炉火足足有两分钟,而我在这段时间里也一直在看着他.突然,他回过头,抓住我注视他面容的目光.
”你在仔细看我,爱小姐,”他道,”你觉得我漂亮么”
如果仔细想过的话,我会照惯例给他一个模棱两可但彬彬有礼的回答,可当时不知怎么回事我想都没想就脱口而出......”不漂亮,先生.”
”啊!我敢说!你这人很特别.”他道,”你的神情像个小修女,文雅安静,严肃单纯,手总是放在前面坐,眼睛总是看地(除开,顺便说一句,刚才那刻尖利地盯着我的脸的时候).有人问你问题,或讲一句你不得不回答的话,你就冒一句直率的回答,不算生硬,但至少也够得上直言不讳.你这是什么意思” ”先生,我太直率了,请原谅.刚才我该说,关于相貌的问题不容易即刻回答,每个人都各有所好,说美并不重要,或其他诸如此类的话.”
”你才不该这么回答呐.美并不重要,千真万确!就这样假装想减轻刚才的伤害,抚慰我平静下来,可你又狡猾地在我耳朵下面刺了一小刀,说下去,从我身上还能挑出些什么毛病,请问我想我的四肢.五官,总跟人家长得一样吧”
”罗切斯特先生,请允许我取消我的头一个回答,我真没想要在话中带刺,完全是无心所造成的.”
”是这样,我想是的,你必须对此付出代价.挑我的毛病吧.我的额头不讨你喜欢么”
他撩起横梳的乌黑卷发,露出很大的一块智力器官,然而在该有着仁慈柔和的地方却找不到这种迹象.
”怎么样,小姐,我是不是个傻瓜”
”当然不是,先生.不过,你可能会认为我粗鲁无礼,如果我反过来想问一句,你是不是个慈善家”
”又来了!又刺我一刀,还假装安慰我,而且就因为我说了句不喜欢和孩子.老妇人待在一块儿.(得小点儿声!)不,年轻的小姐,我可不是什么慈善家,但还有良心.”他指着那据说是表示良心的突出的地方,幸好那地方够引人注目的,确实使他脑袋上半部有着明显的宽度.”再说,我曾经有过一颗充满原始柔情的心,在像你这么大的时候,同情心太多啦.对那些羽毛未丰,无人养育,运气不佳的人尤为偏爱.可惜从那时起,命运就一直打击我,甚至用它的指关节搓弄我.我现在自认为足够冷酷和坚韧,就和印度橡皮球一样.幸好还穿得透,还有一两道缝,中间那块地方还有点儿感情.也许,那能使我仍有希望吧”
”你想希望什么,先生”
”希望最后能从印度皮球重新变回到血肉之躯啊.”
”他一定喝多了酒.”我琢磨.不知该如何回答他这种古怪问题.我怎么知道他能不能转变.
”看来你很疑惑,爱小姐.虽说你不漂亮,就跟我不英俊一样,可疑惑的神气对来说还你满合适.再说,也满方便,使你那双搜寻的眼睛不再盯着我的相貌,而忙着去看地毯上的绒花.那就接着疑惑吧,年轻的小姐,今晚上我喜欢人多,也喜欢话多.”
说完他从椅子上站起来,一只胳膊撑在大理石炉台上.这种姿态使他的身材就和面孔一样暴露无遗.他的胸膛异常宽阔,几乎与四肢的长度不相称.我肯定多数人会觉得他长得丑,但他举止间却有这么多不自觉的高傲,动作这么从容不迫,对自己的外表毫不在意,而且那么自信地依仗自己内在或外来的特性的力量,来弥补自身魅力的欠缺.结果使你看着他,就会不由自主地染上了那种不在乎,甚至片面地盲目地服从他的自信.
”今晚我喜欢人多,也喜欢话多,”他又说了一遍,”所以才让人叫你来.炉火和吊灯陪我还不够,派洛特也不行,它们都不会说话.阿黛勒强上几分,但还是远远不够资格.费尔法克斯太太也一样.而你,我相信,只要你乐意,就能合我意.第一天晚上请你下楼来的时候,你就让我迷惑不解.从那天起我几乎把你给忘了,其他的事把你从我的脑子里挤掉了.不过今晚我拿定主意要自在自在,忘掉那些缠人的事情,想想开心的事.现在我很高兴引你讲话......以便更多地了解你......所以讲话吧.”
我没讲话,却笑了,笑得既不得意也不柔顺.
”说呀.”他催道.
”讲什么,先生”
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