25.第二十五章
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莫讷言这才想起来，真正被看着长大，真正被老头亲自带在身边培养的……一直都是老裴。
裴生说：“我跪在地上，将所有的一切罪恶都和盘托出，包括你，我，路遥。”
“我祈求老爷放过路遥与博名，我愿意受到惩罚，一辈子为奴为婢，为莫家打理一切。”
“但是老爷却说，与其以后让你再祸害别人，不如百年之后由博名肩负起振兴守成的担子。”
裴生的语气里终于见着一丝颤抖：“我不该，不该如此软弱。”
“做错的人是我，愧对莫家的是我，该用一辈子偿还的人也是我。”裴生倏而一静，深呼一口气，稳了稳即将崩溃的语调：“而不是应该葬送博名的一生！”
“呃……呃……啊！！！”莫讷言愤怒惶惑的揪住自己的头发，速速低语：“是你！是你告诉老头子我喜欢男人！是你让他一直对我看不眼来！是你让我承受着老头子异样的眼光！”
莫讷言猛地抬头，额间紧紧抵着黑洞洞的枪管，双眼肆虐的盯着垂目看他的裴生：“你知道我多想让老头子正眼看我么！你知道我多害怕别人的眼神么！你知道我千辛万苦伪装的多累么！我多想自己喜欢的是女人！我多想活在阳光底下！”
“——可是我不能够啊！”莫讷言猛地闭上双眼，眼泪顺着眼角缓缓下滑：“世道如此，世道逼我，世人眼光碾压我！”
“歧视，鄙夷，惊恐，害怕，恶心，指责，议论，排斥——不容于世！”莫讷言嘶哑出声：“为什么要这样，我只不过，只不过与你们喜欢的喜欢略微不同而已啊……我不是变态啊……”
“我曾经……曾经……”莫讷言狠狠的闭了闭眼，斩断泪水：“我也曾愧疚过，我也希望我跟博名只是父子，只是父子，可是寂寞它太恐怖……”
“太恐怖……”莫讷言低声絮语：“我曾经想过的，等我死了以后，所有的一切都是博名的，我希望自己能够补偿他，不要，不要恨我，等我死了以后，会有一个美丽温存的女人来弥补他的创口……”
“我也是这样对他说的。”裴生哽咽道，他握着枪托的手几不可察的颤抖着，另一手缓缓从自己后背腰身里抽出一封遗书。
“我也不断告诉他要忍耐，要赎罪，要求得宽恕……”
裴生短了顿，在莫讷言低头打开遗书默念的时候道：“可是博名受不了了，他选择了报复和死亡……”
“没有人能轻易了结他的性命，在你禁锢他如脔物的时候，他身边跟着的奇能异士怎么能轻易的让他中招，一切都不过是他自己一心赴死……”
“在故意跟你温存之后，带着你的痕迹，荒唐的死在世人眼里，这是他无声的控诉！“
裴生握紧手中的枪／支，对准颓然倒地，垂目不语的莫讷言。
良久之后，莫宅惊响，紧接着又有一声枪响，两声之后……乌鸦鸟雀惊飞盘桓……
强如百年莫家，也终究抵不过世事苍狗，化为岁月长流的一抔黄土。
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