21麻烦事
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储秀宫，扔掉最后一本折子，皇帝靠回椅背,倦倦道：“什么时辰了？”
“回皇上，戌时三刻。”卫川低声回了句，以眼神示意小太监下去泡茶，自己则轻手轻脚地上前替他捏肩。
唔了一声，皇帝闭上眼，身体逐渐放松下来。片刻后，泡茶的小太监去而复返，端着盘子脚尖刚伸进殿，即被卫川一个眼神制止，便这么一会儿工夫，皇帝竟然靠着椅子睡着了，凭白浪费一杯好茶。
考虑到近几天皇上太操劳，心情也不好，夜间还总睡不踏实。卫川十分体贴地令宫人们全部噤声，再亲手取了一件袍子给他披上，盖好之后正要退出去，皇帝突然睁开眼问了一句：“小川子，秀萤宫可有动静？”
卫川一愣，连忙上前：“回皇上，还没。”斟酌了一下，见皇帝皱眉，连忙又道：“不过，据那边的宫人们回，田芳媛自打住进去，就一直没有出过秀萤宫，瞅着是个安分的人，呃，不过……不过依奴才看，芳媛娘娘守着寝宫不出八成也是巴巴等着皇上您驾临呢！”
顿了顿，皇帝明显有些怀疑：“你是说，她盼着朕去？”
卫川肯定道：“回皇上，绝对是！”
唇角微微勾起，露出一个欣然的笑意，皇帝摸了摸下巴，伸了个懒腰，起身在案前慢慢踱了踱，渐渐地皱起了眉来，语气颇有些为难道：“可是朕说过了不会再踏足秀萤宫，此番若是主动前去，岂不是很没有面子？”
“皇上！”腰杆一挺，卫川立即振奋，表现出作为天子贴身近侍一贯的聪明觉悟来，提醒道：“皇上您可是天子呐！天子驾临，那可是天大的面子，怎么会没有面子？”
“是……么？”眼神略带怀疑，皇帝偏头瞅了瞅他的狗腿样儿，心里虽觉这逻辑听起来有些怪异，但经这么一提醒，倒是突然间让他想通过来，点了点头，沉声道：“不错，朕是天子！”
拍对了马股，卫川喜笑颜开地握拳清了清嗓子，一句熟练的“摆驾”还没叫出口，皇帝微微一笑，单手叩了叩桌面，气定神闲道：“所以朕过不去，宣她来也是一样。来呀，小川子，替朕召田芳媛来储秀宫侍驾。”
卫川哽了哽，站着没动，瞅了瞅上方龙心大悦的主子，忍不住大着胆子道：“皇上，您……您不是怕了吧？”
“狗东西，你再说一遍！”话音刚落，皇帝勃然大怒，铁青着一张脸瞪着他。
卫川再不敢出声，皇帝喘了几口粗气，突然皮笑肉不笑道：“别以为你替朕留对了人，立了大功，做错了事朕就不会再罚你。那日朕要你去找几个丑女，再吩咐下面重选秀女，严令你两件事不许走漏半点风声，你倒是好，不出半日就给朕将消息传遍后宫，令皇后领着众妃前来找朕讨说法，就此一项失职之罪，朕就可以办了你！”
卫川腿一软，下跪下得那叫一个流畅，眨眼间面上已是痛哭流涕忏悔状：“皇上，呜呜，奴才……奴才不敢，奴才知错了！皇上铁胆龙心，英姿伟岸，光明磊落，天下间岂能有皇上胆怯的事情，分明……分明是奴才自个儿胆小如鼠，以小人之心度君子之腹，呜呜，皇上赎罪，奴才不敢了，皇上大人有大量，就原谅奴才一时忘形说错了话吧……”
看着被揪得皱起的裤脚，莫名觉得这画面十分眼熟，皇帝烦躁地一脚踹过去，没好气道：“闭嘴，别嚎了！”
卫川不闭，继续膝行着上前，变本加厉地哭诉：“皇上，奴才奴才还没说完……奴才冤啊，那日皇上叫奴才去找丑女，可是这宫里头随手一抓都是美人，但凡有一个半个看不上眼点的都被赶出去了，哪里还会留着那些个丑得不能看的歪瓜裂枣来碍皇上眼，那日皇上要人要的又急，奴才也是没有办法了，才令人拿了牌子出宫去找，这才不慎走漏风声……至于令内务府重选秀女，要推翻之前的名册重新来过，这么大这么匪夷所思的变动，下面办事的自然要起疑，加上主持选秀本就是皇后娘娘分内之职，有管事的一时间拿不准主意向皇后娘娘询问此事，导致走漏风声，也是无可厚非……皇上，呜呜，奴才虽然失职，没有办好皇上的差事，但是奴才实在也冤枉啊！”
终于明白了这种令人头痛的熟悉感来自何处了，皇帝气不打一处来，指着卫川就骂：“还敢喊冤？好，好的很！朕算是听出来了，合着你办砸了事一点错没有，反过来都是朕的错？”
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