第192章 秘密
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“钱氏诞下的第一个男婴，落地后没有哭声，接生的婆子都怀疑是个死胎，可她心疼地抱着，一直不肯撒手，刺客进门，她也愣愣地抱着，若非君思归及时察觉，那刺客就要把这锥子刺进那孩子脑中，让他毙命了。事后你一定在后悔，怎么就找了个手脚不利落的废物出手，连个刚出生的小孩都杀不死吧？可你不知，因为那一锥刺入左耳，那孩子从生来，到死，都是一只耳朵听不见声音的聋子，他这一辈子，活得比死还不如。”
“不……”
“之所以说是第一个男婴，是因为在你的刺客被君思归逼退后，钱氏又诞下了第二个孩子，同样是个男孩，自小体虚，弱不禁风，头疼脑热都会病得下不来床，完全遗传到了他父亲的一身病骨。之后，钱氏就死了。”
秦之余叹着气，推开了双眼失神，神情恍惚的萧挽情，望着窗外渐暗的天色，心中释然。
“讽刺的是，钱氏生产前半月是你的产期，你为了诞下世子拼尽全力，元气大伤，致使病情复发，险些丧命。初为人母，你该明白钱氏的爱子心切，可你非但没有理解她，反而是赶尽杀绝。你怕的不是所做之事被公诸于天下，你只是害怕自己丑恶的嘴脸被暴露在自己的儿子面前罢了。如今，知晓秘密的黎三思被你杀了，你还要杀了我来保守秘密吗？”
“不，不！！侯爷，侯爷求您……”萧挽情发疯一般扑了上来，抱着秦之余的腿苦苦哀求，“侯爷，求您不要让北城知道此事，他还是个孩子，他不该替我背负这些恶名，求求你，放过他吧……”
“我放过你，放过他，那谁来放过林溪辞，放过林风迟呢？”
只质问一句，他便踢开了这个贪得无厌的女人，头也不回地出了门，任萧挽情在身后哭喊着苦求，没有心软停步片刻。
也许他没有亲手杀死她，已经是手下留了情。
这个女人已经活不久了，抱着愧疚忍受痛苦直到死去，就像林溪辞临终前的绝望一样，是给她最后的折磨。所以，活着并不比死去轻松。
然而第二天，他便得到了长公主病逝的噩耗……不，是喜讯。
被他释放的司夜猜到是他动了手，当即带人前去公主府调查，然而折腾了几天都没有找到线索证明是他作为，到最后，长公主的死也只能归结为“先皇驾崩，悲痛欲绝致旧疾复发”，和那莫名其妙死于“忧郁”的黎三思一样，都成了被历史愚弄的过客。
那么，做完这一切的他，也该去追寻自己等待了七年的东西了……
月下，秦之余自斟自饮着，一杯七年恨就摆在面前，只要他尝了那苦涩的玉露，很快便能再见他追逐了半生的月华。
他对着琼浆映照出的倒影看了又看，忽然想到了一个可笑的问题。
“溪辞，我老了……比起当年，简直老的不成样子了，你还能认出我来吗……”
无人能回答他的自言自语，他自嘲地笑笑，摇了摇头，“果然，光辉退去，只剩了黑暗。这冰冷刺骨的黑暗，太孤独了……溪辞，我配殉你吗？”
犹豫着，他将杯盏送到唇边，正待一饮而尽，重现那照耀了他人生的月华时，一道不明来处的力道掀翻了那七年之恨，到头来，竟无一滴饮入口中。
秦之余怔怔望着那倾洒一地的浓酒，缓缓抬头，只见记忆中的那人微笑着，背靠着漫天星辰洒下的微光，朝他伸出手来……
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