第39章 （三十九） 高二下学期就这么开始了
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我干了什么？我轻轻地, 不对，是重重地，牵了林学神的手！还牵了一整场电影！我当时在想什么？
老师家长们不让我牵手我偏偏要牵？今天就是要来染指一下林学神, 来体验一下数学考满分的男生的手有多么的软？
我可真是叛逆啊！
——节选自《康乔的日记》
看完电影之后, 我和林晨没有在街上晃悠，直接就回了家。
毕竟像林晨这种情况, 最怕的就是家长计划有变，提前回了家，今天浪过了头的话, 不仅以后没有机会浪了, 在家长心目中的形象还会直接崩塌, 代价巨大。
当然，另一个原因是, 我们俩也没啥好说的，看完电影之后，随着片尾曲的响起，一种难以言喻的尴尬气氛渐渐笼罩在我和林晨周围。
我在回忆刚刚牵手的事情，我猜他也是。
怎么说呢？
当时……确实是觉得很爽很刺激, 刺激得心率都不正常了，再加上电影院里人满为患，时不时就爆发出笑声，在这样的环境里, 脑子也没办法正常思考事情，只觉得什么事情都可以做, 都可以尝试。
不得不说，在这种眼前是热烈的喜剧情节，右手边是另一个男生掌心温热触感的情况下, 我体内的多巴胺已经泛滥成河，开心得快要溢出来了。
只是待电影即将落幕，我的心跳也正常了之后，立马就后悔了，不对，后悔倒也谈不上，只是尴尬。
这都是啥事啊！看来我也有一颗放荡不羁的叛逆的心？
那林晨又是怎么想的呢？
我看他并没有拒绝，也没有要松手的意思。
而且我总觉得，他今天出来是不是特意打扮了一下，所以他特意瞒着爸妈还把自己打扮了一下，就是为了约我出来玩吗？
他这么做……会不会是因为，喜欢我？
又或者，经过了今天的这件事，他会觉得，我喜欢他？
虽然我对他确实不讨厌，大概还有那么一点好感，但是……但是这应该不是喜欢吧！我只是……
唉，我好像连自己心里到底在想些什么也搞不懂了！
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