第五十三章：我有一个二货姑姑
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自秦小少有记忆以来，全家都在逼婚他姑，受传统文化的影响，他也希望他姑能把那丢失的一缕魂魄给找回来，别那么三七二八不分。
这思想来自他妈看的《灵魂摆渡之黄泉》三七爱上了长生，长生就是三七丢失的那缕魂。他妈当时看完了，哭的稀里哗啦的，他爸带的纸巾都不够，最后还是他妈的眼泪太多，一滴不剩的全都蹭在他爸的西装上了。
他们一家四口从影院里出来的时候，他爸胸前湿了一片，可气的是他爸当时抱着他，于是旁边那位老阿姨就朝他爸来了句：“小伙子，你儿子流口水把你的衣服都弄湿了。”秦小少当时脸都瘪红了，躲在他爸怀里不敢见人，暗地里却气的牙痒痒，奶奶的，老阿姨你看见我把口水流到我爸衣服上了？秦小少向来爱干净到洁癖，什么时候干了这种没谱的事儿。
帮他妈背了背锅还不算，瞥眼就看见他妈和他姐抱在一起哈哈大笑，俩无情的女人。
秦小少回家跟他老爹告状：“爸，捍卫一下我们男人的尊严。”
他爸大掌一拍，就问他：“好，你说怎么捍卫？”
秦小少：“让妈妈和姐姐写检讨书。”
他爸：“。……”过了会儿，母女俩进来了，秦飞扬摸摸鼻子对儿子说：“儿啊，你玩儿大了。秦家家训，不惹女人。”
秦小少：爸，瞧你那没出息的样儿！
他把这事儿告诉他姑，他姑以骑马的姿势坐在沙发扶手上，啃一个苹果，哈哈大笑：“小子，在老秦家女人的地位比男人要高，你认命了吧，谁叫流年不利，你姓秦呢？”
秦小少抓狂：“姑！”
一嗓子震得秦若书耳膜疼，蹙眉揉着耳朵：“听到了，我耳朵不聋，怎么跟你奶似的，这狮吼功练得如火纯情，无人能敌，都专门对付我一个人来了。”
秦小少终于反应过来话题扯远了，问他姑：“嗳，我问你呢，你老实告诉我，你家里是不是有人了？你是不是背着奶奶养情人了？”
秦若书无语，把食指滑过鼻下：“不是，亲，咱能说点好听的吗？”
秦小少为了陪他姑过一个美美的七夕，特意上书他妈母后皇太后张琳紫同志带他到沙龙里面做了个造型，把自己打扮成当下女孩子最喜欢的霸道总裁。
秦若书这疯劲儿上来，把他那捋顺的毛扒拉的乱七八糟。
“姑姑！”秦小少挥动着小肉手，阻止她。孩子的性子随了她，手不够快的情况下，嘴巴上不饶人：“你要不是养情人就是出柜，姑姑你喜欢女人！”
“什么！秦艾之，你个老秦家的第三代混蛋。”秦若书把秦艾之按到沙发上，两个人张牙舞爪，瞬间开战。
“出柜，情人？你这小脑袋瓜子里整天都在想什么呀，我要告诉紫紫让她把你的手机和电脑都禁了。”
秦小少被欺压，却也不忘为自己辩解，“我老妈才不像你这么古董，现在的人缺乏安全感，同性恋多，未婚同居的人也多，根本就不是什么天理不容的事情好吧？”
秦若书手上的动作突然停下来，看着被自己捣鼓的不成样的秦小少笑了，转而目光落寞，看着自己手心，想不到她活了这么大，竟还没有一个孩子看的通透。
就在这个时候有人按响了门铃。秦若书把秦小少从沙发上拽起来，自己去开门。
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