039 乐也是也
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“王爷，爱一个不能爱的人是不是很痛苦？”滕一一咳嗽了起来。
“本王……不知道。”洛王像落荒而逃的苍鹰，没人看得见他心底的悲苍，能看到的还依然是那孤高的背影。
滕一一痛哭，他不知道，他怎会不知道？她不就是最好的例子吗？
这次病的久了些，可能跟心情也有关系，好了以后咳了很久，又很怕冷，总是穿的很臃肿，梳妆也是能简则简，化给谁看？滕一一苦笑。
那日送饭去东暖阁，遇到可儿趾高气扬地宣布她主子怀孕了。滕一一心里抽疼，可表面一副爱谁谁的样子。回到仆人馆，把自己埋到被子里痛哭。她与他在一起那么久，他只一句不想让她怀孕！可他却在用各种事实让别的女人怀孕。她受够了，可还要继续忍受！
翌日清晨，她去了剑心亭，依旧怕冷穿的很厚，依旧有些咳嗽。
“病没好，不要起早！”男人看着又瘦一圈的女人，心痛的呼吸僵滞。
滕一一跪下。
“你干什么？跪什么？”男人眼眸里是心疼，又像是背叛后的害怕。
“王爷，看在上次娥妃小产的事情上，此次小月妃的吃食不要让妾身伺候，妾身真的不敢了。”滕一一是真的怕了，那带着哭腔的语调告知着洛王她认命了，妥协了，甘愿在他心里退出，甚至有一天从这个王府退出。
“对不起，这是个意外。对不起！”洛王想去扶滕一一，他想告诉她那夜他喝醉了，把小月妃当成了她，所以……
滕一一跪着后退，不想洛王碰触，“王爷，无论意外还是故意，既然已成事实，还望王爷看在妾身一片忠心，饶了我！”她哭的更厉害，没好利索的咳嗽肆虐开来。
洛王看的心里一阵阵疼痛，她像一只体无完肤的野猫，是被他不小心遗弃后，在路上险些死掉的生命。如今在用半条命央求他，留她一条生路。
既已如此可怜，他爱天下人，岂能不怜悯她？
“本王准许你不伺候小月妃，起来吧。”男人语气缓和了好多，像是在安慰。
“希望小月妃的孩子顺利生下来，恭喜王爷有了后人，妾身身体不适，不耽误王爷习剑，先行告退了。”滕一一歪歪扭扭爬起来，踉踉跄跄咳嗽着离开。
直到人影消失在视线里，洛王依旧没能抽心回来。该死的一幕幕，为何总是纠缠着出现？
滕一一不做的事情自然交给了大阿婆。看得出来，大阿婆对这个孩子很是期待。也是可以理解，毕竟谁生都可以，只要洛王有后。
天渐凉，滕一一完全康复的时候又开始在朝夕亭抚琴，终日不见任何人，只在仆人馆和朝夕亭之间，倒也是清净的很。
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