第一百五十六章 英伦王子 盟主3/3
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张九秦点点头道：“哦每天早晨九点，这个时间很精准。”
沈常乐非常端正地站着，声音切换成了播音腔，声音做作而又好笑：“清晨九点钟，我从我办公室迈步走出来，走到您的寝宫之前，轻轻伸手推开了大门，踩在一拳头厚的天鹅绒的地毯上，慢慢走到了您的身边。”
张九秦道：“嗬大伙您看这个描述，皇室的感觉就出来了。”
沈常乐声音不变依旧平静的说道：“看见您还在熟睡当中，我便走到窗户边上，先把天鹅绒的窗帘拉开，然后再把火炉子赶紧端出去。”
“啊？？？不是这英伦皇室啊，也用火炉子？？？这也太跌份了吧？？？”张九秦傻眼道。
台下观众笑喷，掌声响起。
沈常乐摊摊手一本正经道：“学过地理吗？英伦那是温带海洋性气候全面多雨冷啊，没有火炉子怕您冻着身子，这是皇室标配！”
张九秦一脸嫌弃道：“反正是真糟蹋那天鹅绒的东西。”
沈常乐边做动作边说道：“把炉子给您端出去以后，我再踩着一拳头厚的天鹅绒地毯上走进来，把您的夜壶端出去。”
张九秦一脸无奈道：“好家伙你告诉告诉我，这夜壶又是为了什么？？？”
“你告诉我，这么大一个英伦皇室那能没有厕所吗？安个抽水马桶能死啊？？？”
沈常乐循循善诱道：“这你就不知道了吧，全球倡导什么节约啊，皇室更要以身作则，这一来节约了水，二来您这不是还能当肥料种菜嘛！”
张九秦道：“好家伙，我们这皇室日子过得也是够蛋疼的。”
沈常乐道：“我再次走到您的床边，看着清晨的一缕阳光透过窗户，照射在您浑圆而又有弹性的面部和臀部上面。”
观众们爆笑，瞬间乐的前仰后合起来。
“吁吁吁…………”
“诶停停停!孙子你告诉我这怎么个意思，这英伦这太阳怎么还就晒屁股和脸啊，再说这浑圆有弹性又屁股和脸一起说的吗？？？”张九秦一脸怒气道。
沈常乐一本正经的解释道：“是王子殿下您睡觉的姿势不一样，您是撅着浑圆有弹性的臀部，然后侧着浑圆有弹性的脸睡觉。”
张九秦道：“哎呦我的妈呀！！！”
“哈哈哈哈哈！”
台下笑声阵阵停都停不下来。
沈常乐道：“我温柔的叫醒了王子，轻轻掀开他天鹅绒的被子，拿起用天山雪蚕丝制成的，纯白色蕾丝的三角短裤帮王子殿下穿上。“
张九秦道：“啊？？？我这还是光着屁股睡得啊，我说怎么能照的到屁股呢！”
沈常乐道：“诶皇室用语怎么能这么粗俗呢，那不能叫光屁股，那叫挂空挡，对皮肤好，睡觉踏实！”
张九秦一副生无可恋状道：“好吧好吧，你怎么说都有理，你继续吧。”
沈常乐道：“我再给王子殿下把裤子、毛裤、秋裤、丝袜穿上…………”
张九秦道：“慢！刚才蕾丝内裤我就想说了，我穿的那里来的丝袜啊？”
沈常乐道：“丝绸啊！东方的宝贝丝绸做的袜子，简称丝袜！”
张九秦道：“哦……丝绸。”
沈常乐边说边把双手被到身后道：“紧接着是上面，秋衣、毛衣、卫衣、马甲、还有………………”
张九秦道：“诶诶诶我说你没有这么闹的啊？你这两手在后头穿什么呢？要是有这个，刚才那个可就不是丝绸袜子了。”
沈常乐一脸无辜道：“背背佳啊！调整坐姿对视力好！”
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