第二章 忽悠,借着忽悠
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按理说,舍友们齐齐反对,就算封苟在415宿舍排行老大,却也没办法强制众人跟他去爬山的,若是不去爬山,封苟也就不会经历接下来的诡异事件了。
正所谓不作死就不会死,封苟这货是属驴脾气的,一旦做了决定,九头牛都拉不回来,就如他当初报考某丹,老师同学都劝啊,没用,该怎么选还怎么选。
也亏得老师同学只是拐弯抹角的劝一劝,没有当面跟他顶牛,若不然,啧啧,疯狗这名号可不是白叫的。
想当初,才刚高一时,封苟就把这疯狗的名号给闯出来了。
英语课,他在下面做数学题,好死不死的,这英语老师和数学老师正在追求同一个女老师,封苟这种行为,分明是在打英语老师脸啊,把英语老师气的,直接把封苟的英语课本从窗户丢出去了。
按理说,这事儿搁别的同学身上,认个错道个歉也就不了了之了。
可是,封苟却不干了,下课铃一响,撒腿就跑,跑英语组办公室,把英语老师桌子上的教材也全都从五楼窗户丢出去了,你们是没看到,英语组那数十号老师全都懵逼了。
也亏得人英语老师肚量大,没跟封苟计较,要不然,这事儿要是闹大了,劝退都是轻的。
却也正因为这件事,封苟才端正了自己的态度,开始认真学习英语。
改头换面啊!
惊呆了所有人呢!
要知道,这厮高一期末考试的时候,数理化全满分,史地政全都不及格,那偏科偏的,整个学校都出名了,按这厮的话讲,小爷俺虽然是汉人,却也没必要把每个汉人的生日死期和说过的话都记住吧?还要不要活了?老子爹的生日都记不住呢!知道有个汉武帝就很不错了,用得着非得记住他是哪一年死的么?至于那个阿娇什么的,那是汉武帝藏起来的,关俺鸟事儿!
所以,这厮对死记硬背这种事情,绝对是深恶痛绝的,能不能记住,全看缘分,缘分不到,背了也望,对,就是这个道理。
当然了,英语是不在此列的,按封苟的话来说,既然英语老师脾气这么好、师德这么高,咱也不能被他给瞧扁了是不是,豁出去了,背!就当是为了提高班级的英语平均分、让勤勤恳恳教授学子的英语老师可以多得几个奖金。
有人说,封苟该跟英语老师道歉的,可是,这厮驴脾气大的很,死可以,道歉滴不行。
不过,高考完接到通知书后,封苟把家里养着过年用的两只大公鸡一绑,提到了英语老师家,这不是即将成为兽医了么,就当是提前预习功课了,屠刀一挥,分分钟,两只活蹦乱跳的大公鸡变成了一盘子味道鲜美的炖鸡块,下了两人的肚子,可怜的英语老师,到最后都没收到道歉,还白白赔上了珍藏多年的两瓶红酒。
唔,这蛋扯的有些远了,书归正传,既然封苟这厮已经打定了主意要爬泰山,又岂能这么简单就被众人给阻止了,不光他要去,众人是一个都不能少。
“老四,你整天在宿舍吹嘘你玩儿的那个帝国争霸多逼真多牛逼,再牛逼能牛逼过一统天下的秦始皇?我可是听说了,泰山顶上可是有秦始皇封禅祭天的遗址呢,你就不想去瞅一眼?”
“老三,这喝酒可得讲究个心境,窝在宿舍和菜馆里喝闷酒有个什么劲儿,走,去泰山,正所谓会当凌绝顶,站泰山之巅豪饮,那才叫英雄!”
“老二,亏你还自诩为泡妞高手,殊不知,这泡妞跟打仗一样,也是讲究策略的,你先去把泰山爬一遍,把那些小树林啦、小山洞的都摸清楚了,到时候,以看日出为名约上美眉去爬山,而后,往小树林一钻,深更半夜的,还不是你想什么姿势就什么姿势!”
“老五,你别撇嘴,健身,你真的该健身了,不过嘛,别去健身房,花钱多不说,还枯燥无趣,还是爬山好啊,既看了风景,又锻炼了身体,我跟你保证,一趟泰山下来,你少说得燃烧五斤脂肪!”
“老六,你小子别挤眉弄眼的,你也得去!理由?简单!我听说你想写一本修仙小说?好啊,这主意好啊,弟兄们可都等着你更新呢,不过,写小说可是需要灵感的,闭门造车可不行;爬泰山,过中天门,进南天门,上天梯,吞吐天地灵气,在这样的环境中,你想没灵感都不行啊!我敢保证,只要你去了一趟泰山之后,那灵感肯定会跟腾兰姐**一般,噗噗的往外喷!”
好吧。
被封苟这么一说,五个人全都有些动心了。
再来上最后一击!
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