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1326昨天跟一个土豪约喝茶，他说太累不想开车，大家各自打车去吧。
喝完茶后，一辆出租车都等不到。
我决定坐公交，土豪说算了他继续等。
我一路颠簸，回家打给土豪:“打到车没？”
土豪无精打采地说:“实在不想等了，旁边有个4S店，随手买辆SMART开回家了。”
1327一二货朋友问：“知道为什么女生坐公交喜欢穿低胸装吗？”
我：“为什么啊？”
朋友：“因为这样才有人给她让座。”
1328班里一个很娘的男生一直在过道里溜达来溜达去，我看得眼花就问他：“喂，你很闲哦？”
结果他妩媚地瞄了我一眼说：“我还很甜呢～”
1329我嫂子处于哺乳期，我伯母问我哥：你老婆奶多吗？
两个哦，还能多到哪里去？
我哥一本正经地回答道。
1330楚国人渡江不慎将佩剑掉入河中，他急忙在船边刻下记号，心想：剑是从这落下，等船靠岸沿着记号定能找到。
船靠岸后，他沿着记号下水寻剑，却无法找到。
岸边路过一名智者问：“你在找寻何物？”
楚人回：“我剑不见呢。”
“啥？”
“我剑不见呢。”
“啥？？”
“我剑不见呢。”
“贱！”
这就是成语“坚持己贱”的由来。
1331网上买了一条很时髦的裤子，一只裤腿白色一只裤腿黑色。今天穿着坐地铁，上来一个戴眼镜的学生妹，把我双腿一下掰开，一屁股坐了上去。
1332乔峰开局就满级，段誉中途开挂，虚竹盗满级号，慕容复前期充钱，得充值礼包就到处浪，只顾搞公会，后期都没满级，只有鸠摩智是一刀一刀砍怪升级。由于前期欺负段誉，后期被段誉开挂复仇，丢装备删号退服。
1333大牛：“听说你去买彩票了，怎么样，中了什么呀？”
来福：“这个月都不拥挤公交了。”
大牛：“这么厉害，中了500万还是轿车？”
来福：“钱全部买彩票了，这个月只能跑步上班了。”
大牛：“……”
1334一哥们第一次带女朋友回家见父母，她女朋友走了之后，他问爸妈对女朋友的印象怎么样？
他爸思考了一下说道：“相貌一般，有点胖，你怎么也喜欢这样的？”
哥们还没来的及说话，他妈在旁边呼一下就站了起来，指着他爸吼道：“你给我说清楚，‘也’是什么意思？！！”
1334“为了我和胎儿，求求你别吸烟了。”
“不就是吸烟吗？为什么从怀孕到现在，你什么都管着我！”
『加入书签，方便阅读』
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