第20章 冬至
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张医女笑了笑，扶她起身，走到案几旁拿起毛笔写下方子，交给望舒：“以后若有机缘，还是希望这位姑娘能够面医根治，只是身体生病了，并不是丢人的事，不必羞于面对。”
望舒重重点头，觉得张医女不仅医术精湛，心境更是比常人洒脱开明，心里对她更加敬仰。望舒双手接过药方，细细看过一遍便将药方规规整整折起来，妥帖的收在荷包里，再次郑重的向医女行了一礼才告辞离开。
拿到药方，望舒心情明媚，一路眉眼带笑的回了前殿，正碰到圣上来看望太后，她连忙跪在地上，一直等到圣上进了主殿方站起身，然后径直回了东配殿。
圣上每日都会来慈宁宫向太后请安，望舒都是能避则避，避不过就行礼后再告退。
她隐隐有种直觉，圣上似乎后悔了，她猜不出圣上是后悔定她为太子妃，还是后悔过早定下太子妃，不管是哪种，她都不愿杵在圣上眼前。
圣上可以另令立太子妃，但决不能是因为她犯了。
回到东配殿，望舒又看了一遍药方，越看越心喜，干脆走到书案前坐下，提笔写起家书来，一口气写了三四张纸，望舒才发现自己很想母亲，算起来才来宫里六天，竟觉得好久好久了。
又给李望晴写了一封信，折起来与药方装在一起，在信封上写下‘三妹亲启’，将这份信与母亲的信合装到一个信封中，用火漆蜡密封，交给太后派来照顾她的曾嬷嬷：“还望嬷嬷帮我送出去。”
曾嬷嬷应下，自去找郑嬷嬷领出宫的令牌，这五年来，望舒的每封家书都是她亲自送到远宁伯爵府的。
曾嬷嬷离开后，望舒没了心事，乐呵呵的拿起一本词集读。到了晚间，圣上陪着太后用膳，望舒就在东配阁用了晚膳，饭后盥洗后早早睡下。
可惜，夜里睡得并不安稳，辗转反侧间还是清醒过来，在黑漆漆的帐子里睁开眼睛，那些隐秘的想法如同汲取了养分的藤蔓蹭蹭蹭的全冒了出来。
毕竟关乎到她的一生，再想的透彻明白，还是做不到事不关己。
自先皇后故去，圣上哀痛伤身，这些年已见苍老，为了社稷安定，满朝都在催圣上立太子，可圣上为什么迟迟不定下储君？
是对三殿下与六殿下都不满意？还是因为其他缘由？
望舒想不通，但她知道若大公主是皇子，或者先皇后的二皇子和五皇子没有早夭，圣上就不会像今时今日这般犹豫不决，应会早早定下国之储君安稳朝堂和民心了吧。
可惜没有如果，有的只是兄弟博弈，朝臣分派。
还是早日定下吧，不管是谁，只求尘埃落定。
望舒闭上眼眸，深深浅浅的呼吸，她慢慢蜷起身体，将整个身子都缩进被子中，摇了摇脑袋将这些烦思驱出去，然后拉长呼吸强制自己入睡。
清早起的迟，太后特意让小宫女来传话，让她安稳睡个懒觉，不用急着去服侍。
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