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黄昏天空渐渐被夜幕笼罩，站在教学楼的天台上可以眺望到远方高楼大厦绚丽的霓虹灯。我何尝不向往那些美好事物，希望自己能住进城市里的漂亮房子，不为生计奔波苦恼，但我知道这些对于我来说是遥不可及的。对着星星倾诉不公，晚风拂过暂时带走几分忧愁，我就这么日复一日地过着。
身上的肿痛，淤青和伤疤似烧红的烙铁深深印在我心，抹不去除不掉。我不是没反抗过，只是不想给自己添太多新伤，选择妥协才不会每天都与恐惧作伴。我的泪腺好像永远不会枯竭一样，总是源源不断地涌出液体，声宣泄着痛苦情感。
施暴者们是不知廉耻的，作为动物才不会跟你讲道德。所以你不能祈求他们具有同理心，跟你共情为自己行为感到愧疚。相反他们只会在你身上释放人性最大最纯粹的恶意，歧视并破坏你残缺不美的肉体，贬低你的人格还打击你的精神。一切仅仅是因为他们觉得很有趣，实在让人法喘息。
在风的指引下，我拖着那残疾的右腿往边缘靠近，明明十米不到的距离却走得异常艰难。生了锈的栏杆哪怕轻轻触碰也立即摇晃起来，只是稍微探出点身子俯瞰六层楼的高度双腿就开始止不住地打颤。我知道我的大脑还控制着我的身体，害怕的表现是一种本能的求生欲。而在某种意义上我的精神早已死掉了，空有一副没有灵魂的躯体，每天麻木地进食维持生命运作。
离自习课结束还有半小时不到，我庆幸着老师今夜不值班才能来到这里。死盯着空旷的水泥地面我思考着要不要往下跳，六层真的可以马上没有意识吗？会不会比平时的暴力更加痛不欲生？等待着我的是地狱还是天堂？虽然我就活在人间炼狱，但还是忍不住遐想死时的感觉，死后的世界。好像二者并没有什么区别，都是痛苦的延续。
时间流逝，很快就有大批的学生走出这栋建筑，我呆呆地定在原地想要等他们走光了再自杀。从高处坠落首先是粉身碎骨，再是皮肉之痛，静静躺在血泊中一动不动感受最后生命的消逝。可是我始终没有勇气迈开腿，真正面对死亡的时候还是胆怯了，直到人去楼空我也没能做出仅需一步的实践。
风儿一直在我耳边迫切地怂恿道：“跳下去吧！跳下去吧！”
“转瞬即逝的事情！”它说个不停，仿佛暗中有股形的力量推动着我。
“为什么这么胆小？”它试图激怒我。
“你从头到尾都很失败！”它情地嘲笑我的可怜。
“李追远！”它在轻声呼唤我。
“李追远啊！这边！”它温柔地引导我坠入深渊。
“原来你躲这里啊？你他妈是连眼也瞎了装作看不见纸条是吗死瘸子？”背后有咒骂声响起。
还未等我转过整个身子迎面而来的是一记重拳，我踉跄得几乎倒地。温热的血液从鼻腔淌出，伸出舌尖可以尝到唇瓣上几丝略咸的铁腥味。接着我又被揪住头发，被迫直起身子面对比自己高大的少年，连续的巴掌抽在脸上使得我眼冒金星。
“等....等一下”我卑微地哀求对方停止。
他转而掐住我的脖子，将我逼到边缘且刚好抵在护栏上，并不怀好意地把我不断往后推搡。我的上半身处于悬空的状态，唯一的支撑点在脊椎和护栏的链接处，摇摇欲坠的铁架子令我不敢轻举妄动并将所有重心集中在脚底下。看不见身后的未知更看不清身前人的表情，使我充满恐惧。
“呵，干嘛？你想自杀吗？”对方打趣地质问着我。
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