第22章 喝酒
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小燕叹了口气.......接着说道........“.......那又有什么用了，梦想终归是梦想...在我辍学的那一刻，这个梦就彻底的破碎了......我知道........我这一辈子都不可能成为歌唱家了，那一刻，我第一次体会到了命运的不公，和自己的能为力..........于是我和大多数农村的女孩一样，外出打工，为家里挣钱.........突然有一天，我妈妈半夜打来电话，说我爸病倒了......于是我连夜买车票回家，赶回家才知道，我爸得了一场大病，需要好多钱，那个时候，我们家根本就拿不出那么多的钱.......就在走投路的时候.....一个亲戚出了个主意，就是把我介绍给别人，然后别人就会为我爸出医疗费，就当做是彩礼.....你知道，在那种情况下，我别选择，我不能眼睁睁的看着我爸........于是亲戚领着我到了别人家，第一次见面，就把我吓坏了，比我大好多，而且长得也不咋地，特别的黑，看上去，恨不得比我爸还老....但是我没有选择，公公婆婆弄了一大桌子菜，还不停地给我敬酒.......那是我第一次喝酒.....后来我才知道，这原来是他们早就合计好的，怕我反悔，故意给我灌醉，好生米煮成熟饭......后面的事你就可以想象了.......当我醒来的时候，就已经躺在别人的床上了.......我那时候只有十九岁.......“
泪水划过脸庞，滴在酒杯中......
小燕摇了摇酒杯，一饮而尽.....
听到这些，大伟心里也非常的沉重，举起杯，一饮而尽......
“.....对不起，今天是你生日，我不该提这些的......”大伟说道.
“........你可以想象，和一个从没有见过面，才见了一次，就......还是用这种方式，我有一种被出卖的感觉........更可怕的是，和一个大自己十一岁，十分内向的人生活，怎么可能有共同话题，你信吗？我们可以十天半个月不说一句话......而我存在的价值就是为他们传宗接代，和充当一个发泄的工具....我已经麻木了，俨然就是一具行尸走肉......没日没夜的折腾......要不是有小虎的陪伴，我恐怕已经没有勇气再活下去了......“
小燕的眼泪此时就像断了线一样........
“.......我现在才体会到，我就是个工具而已，多少个夜晚，我是以泪洗面，我努力的让自己忘掉这些，努力的让自己变得麻木，但是我做不到呀！....我也是个人，是个正常的女人，我也需要关心，需要理解，需要爱护，需要温暖，高兴的时候有人分享，伤心的时候有人倾诉，累的时候有个肩膀可以依靠........然而，这些多我来说就是奢望，就是一厢情愿，就连最简单的沟通都做不到，就别说这些了......一个人最可怕的不是穷苦，而是在年轻的时候就能一眼望的到头，看不到一点希望，一点光......也许我早就死了，只是几十年以后埋而已.....“
说到动情处，泪水早已模糊了双眼......小燕一饮而尽......喝下去的是痛苦，是奈，是心酸，是不甘......
看着这个被命运折磨的遍体鳞伤的女人，青春年华，花一样的容貌，本应该争奇斗艳的，到头来却是孤芳自赏.......也许这就是人生的酸甜苦辣吧......
想到这，大伟不免心痛不已，千言万语，却也法诉说......
只能倒满一杯酒，一饮而尽.....
大伟拍了拍小燕的肩膀安慰道......“...苦命的小燕....会好起来的....天终有亮的时候......”
在酒精的刺激下，再也控制不住了，多年的心酸一起涌上心头......小燕抱着大伟，放声大哭........
大伟一边轻轻地替她擦着眼泪，一边安慰.....
夜深了，晚风拂过......
哭过后，小燕紧紧地抱着大伟，就像一只受伤的小鸟一样，没有安全感.....属于小燕独有的香味，扑面而来，如此近距离的接触，让大伟有些心旷神怡.....
就在这时，小燕一抬头，发现大伟正盯着自己....炽热的眼睛......四目相对.....脸上发烫.....夜深人静，孤男寡女，酒到深处，情不自禁.....
心中的火就快要彻底的点燃了.......
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