5.身体遵从内心
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程锐泽高二时在市图书馆看到了堂哥和女朋友站在角落的书架旁接吻。透过书本间的空隙，他看见程逸一手掌着女孩的后颈，一手搂着女孩的脊背，沉迷地吮吸着女孩的唇瓣，两人紧闭着眼睛，空气中弥漫着唇舌交缠的黏腻水声和情动的暧昧喘息。
意外一向成熟懂事，醉心学习的模范堂哥会在高三恋爱，他不禁好奇什么样的女孩能让堂哥一反常态。一次家庭聚会，程逸一直低头看手机，脸上的笑意明显是坠入爱河的模样，便试探着问他是不是谈恋爱了。
程逸大方地承认了，还说有机会让他见见。不久后程锐泽过生日，约了班上关系不的同学一起吃饭唱K，程逸带着女朋友来吃蛋糕，那是他第一次见夏昀。
那天程逸和夏昀给他送了礼物吃完蛋糕不久后就离开了。他们走后，就有女同学们说他们男帅女美看起来好般配，两人之间热恋的氛围藏都藏不住。有个同学带来的朋友和他们同校，说他们都是年纪前几名，连老师都不管他们谈恋爱。程锐泽心想这个女生确实长得好看又有气质，论外形还是成绩都和堂哥旗鼓相当，未来估计还会报考同一所大学，一直走下去。
再之后，陆续和他们见过几次，程锐泽心里渐渐产生了异样的情愫，他发现自己看见程逸和夏昀一起出现时默契又亲密的样子就莫名感到失落，却想不通自己缘何如此。
直到高三前的暑假快结束时，程逸找他出来喝酒倾诉，说自己和夏昀分手了。他听到后有些吃惊，而后居然感到高兴，他顿时觉得五味陈杂，喜悦、愧疚、忧虑交杂在心间。他们两家人一向亲近，从小一起长大，算得上半个亲兄弟了，虽然堂哥只比他大一岁多，却自小聪慧懂事对他很照顾。而他居然恬不知耻地喜欢上堂哥的女朋友，还庆幸他们分手后自己或许就有机会了。情窦初开的满心喜悦与羞涩在想到光风霁月的堂哥时变为了苦涩，他在心中唾骂自己就是个心理阴暗的男小三。
——他们已经分开一年，程逸应该已经放下了，自己没有撬墙脚，也不算背叛他吧。
可程锐泽清楚这不过是个自欺欺人的谎言，因为暑假见到程逸回国时，他的手机壁纸还是和夏昀的合照。
在夏昀记忆里，程逸是个温润体贴的谦谦君子，对自家弟弟妹妹们也很照顾，程锐泽和他年龄相仿从小一起长大，关系更是亲厚。这么久没联系后再见面突然说要追求自己，夏昀回答他：“我和程逸是和平分手，没有做过对不起他的事。如果你想追到我再把我甩了替他报仇雪恨，没必要。”
程锐泽登时不知该如何解释自己的真心实意，只好说会用行动告诉她不是她想的那样。他报名了夏昀的部门，面试时夏昀也在场，但她一个问题也没向他提。他性格开朗形象又好，毫疑问被录取了。程锐泽很高兴，至少自己有了光明正大靠近她的借口，多些时间相处，她会慢慢明白他的心意吧？
——
周五体测，男生先测引体向上，轮到谢颀时，夏昀从后面看他。谢颀没有像其他一些男生讨巧地反手抓杠。他比肩略宽正手握杠吊起身体，交叠脚踝，短袖随着举起的手臂滑落，露出上臂肌肉。随着重复的发力上举，手臂和手背的青筋逐渐鼓胀起来，在白皙的皮肉下释放出隐秘的危险信号。
作为血液回流心脏以及注射、输血、补液的通道，平日里只缓慢流淌着血液，包容、平和应当是适合静脉血管的形容词。可在人体兴奋时，静脉却是唯一坦诚地向外界昭示身体状态的器官。
此时此刻，看着眼前正内敛却诚实地表达着大脑接收到的刺激的双臂，夏昀觉得谢颀有种和静脉相近的气质，善于忍耐，总是一副不动声色的模样，不知被逼急了是不是也会坦诚地展露自己的内心。
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