51 私奔
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哪怕有所偏袒，厉卿仍然觉得这道选择题太过残忍了。
“向导素会周期性变化，他的下一次热潮将会发生在半小时之后。你也看到了，他现在很痛苦，需要你的帮助。”郝医生看着逼近零点的时针，“你才刚转变为黑暗哨兵，比起正常哨兵，你应该更加狂躁暴力。我不知道你用了什么方法让自己冷静，但一味压抑自己的欲望，对你来说并不现实。”
厉卿不以为意：“我可以忍。”
活到现在，他经历的痛苦太多，已经将忍耐修炼得易如反掌。
“可是黑暗哨兵与幻术型向导的结合……没有人尝试过，我不知道你们会不会成功，也许你会将他弄伤，也许你会死在他的幻境里。中央塔的意思是让你们回北京，他撑不到那个时候了。”
“明白。”厉卿收起两支试管，坚定地说，“但是我没有资格替他选择。”
“任何人都没有资格替他放弃，我会征求他的意见。如果联结意味着失去，那么我比他更加痛惜。如果他想与我联结，哪怕付出生命，我也愿意。”
郝医生沉默许久，回答道：“决定权在你，作为医生，我们能做的只是给出专业意见，提醒你不要让自己后悔。半小时后，我会带向导保护协会的人在病房外等候，只要他拒绝了你的联结请求，IGA将带他飞去莫斯科。”
“谢谢您，郝医生。”厉卿站在门框边回头，“救命之恩，厉卿没齿难忘。”
“不用客气，对待自己未来的论文数据，我还是很有耐心的。”郝医生对他挥手，沧桑的声音里充满怀念，“况且他的父母是帮助过我的前辈啊，年轻人，当年在北大医学院里，我们这些向导可都是紧紧抱团群暖，同生共死呢。”
厉卿暗自苦笑，离开了办公室。踏入褚央所在的隔离病房前，他吞下整板镇定剂药片，听着病房里的褚央一遍遍呼唤自己的名字，心如刀绞。
==
“央央……”
“央央……”
温柔女声在耳旁萦绕，褚央浑身疼得厉害，脑袋尤其昏沉。但他潜意识觉得这声音好熟悉，努力睁眼往前抓：“……妈妈！”
一双澄然通透的水蓝色双眼凝望着褚央，褚央太久没见到母亲的面容，恍惚间以为自己身处幻境：“妈妈……”
杨菲菲握住褚央的手：“我们央央，真是辛苦了。爸爸妈妈好心疼，好想抱抱你。”
褚央牢牢抱住母亲，他已经二十多岁了，可在母亲怀中，他永远是缺乏安全感的小孩。
“我太弱小了，没有保护好妹妹，也没能保护好我的哨兵。”眼泪决堤滑落，褚央伏在杨菲菲肩头哭泣，“妈妈，对不起……”
“傻孩子，你没有对不起任何人。”杨菲菲拍他的后背，“你特别勇敢，我们为你骄傲。”
“可是！”褚央察觉到杨菲菲身体逐渐变得透明，焦急地挽留她。然而论如何用力，他都没有办法释放出精神触丝，甚至连精神力都汇聚不了。
他的精神力已经破碎，和废物没有半点区别！
“央央，不要害怕。”杨菲菲拼命抓住褚央的肩，眼底含泪，饱含限爱意与怜惜，“你是命运送给妈妈的馈赠，记住，妈妈永远爱你……”
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