六十五、陆家风云/尿床
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叶乔闭上眼睛，忐忑地想了一堆有的没的，最后也不知是什么时候睡着了，还做了一大堆乱七八糟的梦，梦里自己似乎是个小三，在宾馆里跟陆远萧偷情，偷到一半只听砰地一声，有人一脚踹烂了房门，两米高的巨人陈恒冲进来，猛地把自己从床上丢下来，嘴里一边喷火一边怒吼，“哪里来的狗居然敢玷污我媳妇！我今天就要吃狗肉！”
然后一转眼叶乔发现自己身处铁笼，不远处的巨人陈恒已经换了一野人打扮，穿着兽皮裙，正在往噼里啪啦的火堆上架杆子，嘴里还阴测测地嘟囔着，“嗬嗬，待会儿就做烤乳狗吧……”
叶乔惊恐地蹦窜起来想要呼救，却发现自己嘴巴里只发出了一声，“汪！！！”
＊
“卧槽，好恐怖……”叶乔惊醒后大汗淋漓地坐在床上，半天才从梦魇中缓过来，忽然感觉自己的屁股下面湿漉漉的……
“不会吧……”叶乔缓缓把手放到自己腿中央摸了摸，不可置信地僵坐半晌，才终于承认了这个事实。
他迅疾如风地换了身干净的裤子，再把床单被褥团巴团巴搞成球形，抱在怀里，悄咪咪地将房门拉开一条缝。
客厅里，陆远萧不在，陈恒背对着他严肃地对着电脑在讲些什么，应该是在开视频会议。
叶乔把拖鞋脱了，只穿袜子，踮起脚尖，一点一点地往外挪。
陈恒的屏幕上是公司的各个高层的脸，众人正在激烈地讨论着进来大型项目的企划，陈恒的拿着笔，正凝神听着，飞速在笔记本上记着什么。
他抬头，刚想点名一位高层发言，忽然屏幕黑色反光处一个人影挪过去。陈恒下意识回头，正看见叶乔抱着一大团被单从他的身后走过。
“……”陈恒暂时关闭自己这边的摄像头，“你在干什么？”
操！被发现了！
叶乔努力做出一副淡定的样子，“没事，我把饮料弄洒了，抱去洗洗。”
“洗床单？”陈恒眯了眯眼睛，直觉不对。他往公屏上发了句会议结束，便扣上笔记本往叶乔那儿走，“这儿每天都有阿姨来换床单被罩，为什么你要多此一举？”
靠，真是难缠啊，叶乔咬牙，“我闲着也是闲着，乐意做家务不行吗？”说完抱着床单就往洗手间冲，企图在陈恒发现之前把床单泡上水，这样就看不出来了。
但他的身手哪里能赶得上陈恒这个练家子，陈恒想都没想，嗖的一下翻沙发跃过去，一把薅住了叶乔的后衣领，把叶乔像拽小鸡似的拽了回来。
“我怎么闻到一股狗尿味，嗯？”陈恒不怀好意地把床单扯开，果然看到了上面的地图，“居然尿床了，狗崽子，你这小鸡巴是废了吗？还是肾和膀胱出了毛病？啧啧啧，我看你这下半辈子可算完了，以后不会经常漏尿吧？”
“你——”叶乔被气得眼冒金星，陈恒说话向来粗鲁不堪，但这么恶毒也是少见，“这只是意外！都怪你昨晚发疯吓我！”
听到昨晚，陈恒脸上原本讥讽的笑容消失，瞬间浮上一层冷意，叶乔背后一凛，下意识恐惧这个表情的陈恒，往后退了一步。
“我吓你？”陈恒狠狠地咀嚼着这几个字，他盯着叶乔，目光里充斥着敌意，“狗东西，如果不是远萧，你现在已经被我操成废人扔出去了。”
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