第三百一十八章 一无所知（下）
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病，都生病了，一个个都心情郁结，一个个都病倒了。二哥谋逆之事已经过去这么久了，该死的都死了，该斩除的也都斩除了，皇上为什么还心有不满，难道他真的要将世凡和林府斩草除根吗？林府的灭顶之灾还是逃不过吗？
朝阳眼含泪花，怔怔的望着李泽骞，道：“李大人，何太医与你同在太医院当值，父亲之病还望你多关照，多为本宫通传，以稍缓本宫焦虑之心。”
李泽骞忙点头道：“微臣知道。娘娘先好好休息，微臣明日再来为娘娘请平安脉。”
朝阳点点头，示意沈嬷嬷送李泽骞出宫。
朝阳在床上怔怔呆了半响，扶着小青勉强起身，吩咐笔墨，小青知朝阳意思，连忙扶朝阳在书案前坐下，备齐文房四宝，朝阳拿起笔沉吟片刻，写道：父亲大人，遥知父亲大人身体微恙，女儿心急如焚，望父亲大人多多保重，万安万安。
沈嬷嬷送完李泽骞回到屋中，走到朝阳身边，见朝阳所书，劝道：“娘娘放心，皇上既然已派太医前去医冶，可见皇上还是念着林大人和娘娘的好。”
朝阳将家书递给小青，吩咐道：“让内务府送出去吧。”小青点点头，收好家书，转身走了出去。
沈嬷嬷叹道：“林大人在宫外哪知娘娘在这深宫的苦！”
朝阳无力的用手撑着头，闭上双眼，道：“一切都是我的错。若是当日我在冷宫之中自我了断了，这所有的一切都不会发生，或许就没这么痛苦了。”
沈嬷嬷大吃一惊，抓住朝阳的手，道：“娘娘，您一定要撑住，您若倒了，那林府可真就孤苦无依了。”
朝阳睁开双眼，眼泪汪汪的看着她，道：“沈嬷嬷，你告诉我，我所做的这一切都有意义吗？皇上，他为什么这么残忍？他要什么，我就给他什么；他要我们怎么做，我们就怎么做。他需要世凡为他冲锋陷阵，世凡就去了；他要林家离开边关，回到长安，我们也回来了。二哥死了，二嫂走了，林家上上下下的威胁他都清除了，他还想怎么样呢？是不是把我们一个个都逼死了，他就满意了？”
沈嬷嬷吓得连忙捂住朝阳的嘴，然后又吓得收回手，跪在面前，道：“娘娘，这话说不得，这话不能走漏半点风声。若是传到皇上的耳朵里，那林府、王府还有娘娘就真的只有死路一条了。”
朝阳痛心的道：“如果只有死才能让他满意，那就取走我的命好了！”。
沈嬷嬷叹道：“娘娘，这所有一切都是听闻而已。更何况人都有生老病死，林大人。王爷或许只是一时身体抱恙而已，有太医的精心医冶，不日既能痊愈，您在这先泄了气，说这些丧气话不异于落井下石。您这脾气，吃的亏还少么？为什么不能再忍忍呢？”
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