一个小甜饼

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一个小甜饼 > 我是个先生 > 第七章 排练

第七章 排练

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“就比如说,有个自家人介绍来的小孩儿。”

张云想拿扇子在腰间比划,说:“差不多也就这么高。”

张云想面朝左边,拿扇子指指点点,就好像自己就是那老白干:“你愿意在我这儿学徒吗?”

张云想又脸朝着右边,故意矮了半截身子,仿若自己是个小孩,按细一点的声调,说:“我愿意。”

转过身脸朝左:“我给你看样东西,你猜猜是什么。”张云想装作拿出一瓶酒的样子。

然后身子朝着右边,接过酒瓶,抬起来看瓶子,拿扇子虚点,嘴里读出声儿来:“山西汾酒”

张云想又转过身来,说:“嚯,这小孩,还知道产地,那我能要他吗?万一偷我酒喝怎么办?”

“不能要不能要”

张云想又用小孩子的语调,转过身,说:“这是著名的老白干。”

说完,站直了身子,把扇子往手上一拍,说:“这孩子,刚来就叫我外号,那我更不能要了。”

下面有人笑了起来,张云想也得便宜卖乖,说:“你们说这孩子有多冤枉。”

等了一下,给点反应时间,就接着说:“就这样,别人介绍了好几个徒弟,结果都没要。”

“这事儿啊,就传到了我耳朵里,我多聪明啊,我能不明白是怎么回事儿嘛?”

张云想故意装作一副傲气的模样,假模假样的。也是因为之前热场的效果,大家都放松了。

王漫就在第一排,看张云想这个样子,鬼使神差的就接了一句:“你聪明个大头鬼。”

张云想乐了,还有人接茬的。

转过头看着王漫:“不愧是老佛爷,就是不一样嘿,还用大头鬼来形容人聪明。”

接着说:“那我多聪明啊,有这么大的头,里面不能全是水啊,一下就看出来了问题的关键。”

“我就对我爸妈说,我要去当学徒,我爸妈说,那可不行,老白干对工人那么狠,上他那儿学徒,谁也受不了。”

“我爸妈还是爱我的,但是没关系,我说我能受得了。”

“家里人就把我送过去了。到了那里啊,老白干还是问你愿意在我这儿学徒吗?”

张云想稍微侧过身子,用小孩子的音调说:“是的,我想在这儿学徒。”

“那我这儿学徒苦的很,你受得了吗?”

“我就没没享过福。”

“我给你样东西瞧瞧。”说着张云想装作从柜橱里提溜出一瓶酒的样子,问:“这是什么?”

然后又侧过身装作小孩儿模样,摇摇头说:“不知道。”

张云想站直了,点点头,“嗯!有点儿意思。”又拿出另一瓶黄酒来,左手指着右手问:“这是什么?”

还是侧过身摇头:“不知道。”

“嗯!”张云想又装作把酒瓶子打开,往前面一举,“你闻这是什么?”

“我多聪明啊,我能上他的当嘛?我一闻就知道是酒,但我能说出来吗?不能啊”

“我故意摇摇头,说,这是马尿。”

“这可把老白干高兴坏了。”

“老白干说,好!好!就是你,可找着好徒弟了!”

“从这儿以后,我就在木器铺学上徒了。”

“这家伙是够厉害的,我起五更,睡半夜,从没吃过饱饭。”

“他又好打牌,爱赌,每天不过半夜不回来,我得给他等着开门。”

“他半夜回来,我还得给他烧火沏茶,就这样了,他还说费煤!”

“把我气坏了,有一天,他快天亮了才回来,我过去一看,他躺在床上睡得挺香,嘴里还说着梦话。”

“我走过去把他吵醒。”

张云想装作小孩子语调,说:“掌柜的掌柜的,你醒醒。”

“嗯?咋了?”

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